Life's a Party

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“Life may not be the party we hoped for, 

but while we’re here we should dance.”

― Author Unknown

We've all heard the cliché term "Life's too short..." but really it's true. So many times we are so wrapped up in our daily lives, daily troubles and grumbles, that we forget to see the bigger picture. Life is hard. Whoever told you it was going to be easy sincerely lied to you. Life isn't fair either, by the way. We're handed handfuls of lemons, most likely at the most inopportune times, and expected to make the best damn lemonade on the face of the earth. It's squeezing those lemons that takes the most time, but eventually you will have yourself some lemonade. Oh yes, and don't think you won't have to make more lemonade. You will. There will always be more lemons to squeeze and sugar to add. Always.

I love the quote I listed above (thanks Real Simple for the daily e-mails). Like I mentioned earlier, life isn't going to be easy, but you should rejoice in the fact that you have a life to live and therefore, you should dance. You should dance everyday no matter what obstacle you are facing.

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I listed the inspirational piece above, because I'm feeling just that. Inspirational. As most of you know, I just changed jobs almost a month ago. I had been at my last company for 3 years. It started out great, but quickly turned into something I hadn't expected. The last two years were especially hard. Everyday was a chore to get up and go to work. I dreaded it. I would cry on Sundays because I just honestly didn't want to go to work. I wasn't treated well and I had hurtful things said to me. I was constantly made to feel like a failure and that I was never going anywhere.

All of that began to wear on my self-esteem and I quickly spiraled downward into this person I not only knew, but didn't care for. I was irritable, cranky, unmotivated, depressed, and majorly unhappy. I was bitter all of the time as well. All of my life I have put in 110%, sometimes more, and I almost always succeeded in what I put my mind to. I did well in school and graduated college with honors. I felt that I was competent and saw nothing but success in my future. It all eventually faded away and I was left thinking I couldn't do anything right and that it didn't matter how hard I tried.

I finally got tired of crying on my way home from work. I was tired of being miserable and unhappy. Instead of being completely down on myself, I decided to make it a priority to find a new job. I had to keep looking for that open door. Month after month the doors stayed closed and it was very discouraging. I heard on the radio not too long ago that sometimes people are so focused on looking for that "open" door that they don't see it when it actually opens. Well I saw that door open and I jumped through it both feet first and didn't look back.

I've been at my new job for a month tomorrow and I couldn't be happier. I still have some of the mentality I had at the other place: you're no good, you can't do that, you won't succeed, you're not skilled enough...and while that makes some days harder than others, the internal struggle, it's also helping me realize that I'm not any of those things. I am good at what I do. I am smart and competent. I have potential.

People around here are using words like "great job," excellent work," "you're doing very well here," and I'm amazed. I feel like I stare at them blankly as if I'm floating in some dream. I'm readily waiting to be snapped back into reality with some form of "you suck." I put something together earlier this week and showed it to one of my bosses. He replied with wow this is amazing! I quickly responded with "whoa, really?" Not even thinking. I'm just so used to my work and ideas being turned down and smudged into the dirt.

The environment here, I feel, is helping me to get back on my feet and gain back my confidence. It's crazy how quickly your confidence and self-esteem can be taken away and most of the time without your permission. How does that happen? I leave in the evenings feeling motivated and happy. I wake up planning out my day and what things I will do at work. My heart feels happy and light again. I feel like I'm on my way to being myself, once again.

Perhaps this is too much "public" information, but it brings me joy to be able to write that I am in a better place, therefore making myself a better person. I finally came to the conclusion that life really is too short to be unhappy and to be treated poorly when you know you are capable of so much more. The days and weeks just fly by and we never really know how many of them we're going to get. I want to know that I have lived my life and that I was happy. To know that even in the darkest of times I was able to prevail and see that light. That I never let my "spunk" die and I stayed true to myself and always, no matter what, believed in myself. That I always cared for my family and friends and was the best person I could possibly be to them. I really want to make sure I'm breathing in every day as its handed to me and that I enjoy all the seconds, minutes and hours of it...to its fullest extent.

So, as I've reminded myself, never forget to keep dancing. Keep your heart light and happy and dance your way through life knowing that you are happy and enjoying the greatest gift you could have ever been given.

Life.