SPAM
Ugh.
SPAM.
What an ugly word. It's a pain in the you know what, and no I'm not talking about the congealed, canned substance. Double ugh.
I'm talking about the annoying-ness that is SPAM. The shit stuff that clogs up your e-mail.
{Raise your hand if you hate SPAM.}
I'm pretty sure all of you reading are raising your hand. I get so much spam in my e-mail account and I don't even know how it got there. More important and most annoying is the fact I CAN'T UNSUBSCRIBE!!
I click the little button at the bottom of the e-mail that says unsubscribe me, and I follow the steps. Yet...YET, I still get SPAM from the dog-garn spammers.
They're relentless.
Don't people have something better to do?
***
Dear Spammers of Spamalot,
I highly dislike your daily e-mails advertising everything from a student loan and better credit score, to ways to make my genitalia bigger. Umm, FYI, I am female. I don't need Viagra or any other male-oriented, stimulation enhancing drug. Yeathanks.
No thank you, but I already have a degree and you know what? I also don't need a blood glucose monitor. While we're on the subject of things I don't need, especially from you, let's clarify some other things I don't need.
I do not need:
*car insurance
*a new Dell computer
*federal grant money
*FedEx supplies
*a new "work from home" job
*an IQ check
*any of your "prizes" that I apparently won
*debt assistance
*etc. etc. ETC.
And NO I don't want to fill out your survey.
AND NO I will not WIRE you ANY MONEY!
Oh yea one more thing, I'm pretty sure I didn't win your stupid lottery. Just sayin.
I'd like to ask you one question: How the hell did you get my e-mail? Let me give you a piece of useful advice.
Erase me from your damn list.
Easy enough right? I don't want anything you have to offer. I'm not going to click within your e-mail and I'm not going to e-mail you back. Why don't you find something productive to do besides trying to infect people's computers with your bogus and useless shit.
Comprende?
Fabulous.
Sincerely your hater,
V.
***
{This hereby concludes my rant. Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging}
Happy Hump Day!
6 comments:
Lol! I love when I get the Viagra ones...those are the best! Or the Russian women trying to contact me to see if I want a hot Russian wife.
I've cut down a lot on my spam by setting up a separate e-mail account for online shopping and any other sites I give my e-mail address to. Even if they SAY they don't give your address to 3rd party people, they definitely are! So no matter what, if I'm putting my e-mail on the web, I put one e-mail and keep a separate one for actual personal contact with people!
Good luck!
My favorites are the ones asking me to collect a few million dollars or writing from a deathbed will you inherit my money! I hate them too!!!!
May I copy this and email it to all my spammers?
I have been getting a lot of these lately too...My favorite ones are from the married housewife looking for someone to cheat with!!! They are awesome!! :) haha (J/K)
This is why I love gmail. They know what spam is...so all the penis emails go straight into my spam folder. And for all the annoying company emails, I just mark them once as spam and they never show up again. Love gmail.
I am playing catch-up in Google Reader (again. still. I don't even know anymore.) & normally I won't comment on a post that is a month old (sad that this even needs to be a rule for me), but I have to this time. That unsubscribe button? Your nemesis. Basically, spammers are guessing at email addresses. They have no idea if they are real or active. (That's why often you will see that they sent the email to your address, along with a bunch of others that are variations of or very close to yours.) When you click on "unsubscribe"? You are basically confirming to them that this is a live email address...and they thank you for helping them out with this by sending you hundreds more. Just delete it. It won't stop spam all together, but it will mean not getting exponentially more of it!
Post a Comment