Mama battle scars

When I was pregnant, I remember reading a lot about vaginal birth versus a c-section. I was terrified of a c-section and really didn't want one. I also read a lot about moms who had c-sections were often resentful they didn't get that "natural delivery." They felt as though they missed out on something.

The thought of going through major surgery AWAKE scared the crap out of me. It just really creeped me out. We luckily learned about both methods of delivery in childbirth class, so I was familiar with both methods and all that went along with them. So although I didn't want a c-section, I went in with zero expectations and the mentality that as long as she was healthy and I was healthy...that was all that mattered. I didn't care how she got here.

Boy was I glad for that. During labor I was progressing perfectly, per my doctor, and everything looked on schedule. Then her heart beat started dropping and she just wasn't recovering. Before any nurse or my doctor said anything I knew what was going to happen. My sweet doctor apologized to me saying she wanted differently for me, but we had to get the baby out now. Funny enough, I wasn't even scared about the c-section or the fact that it was an emergency one. The only thing I cared about was getting my daughter here safely. Even as they rushed around me and wheeled me into the OR at record speed all I could think about was her. Sure I was anxious...all alone in an operating room until my husband got there never having had surgery before and being prepped for surgery, but I just focused on the fact that I was about to meet my baby girl.

I don't mind one bit that I had a c-section. My baby was born healthy and safe because of the availability of a c-section and modern medicine. I don't know if that would have been the case 100 years ago. I look at my scar like a badge of honor. A badge of mama honor. For the rest of my life I will bear the mark that I birthed my daughter and that we brought her into this world. Kind of like a tattoo. It will be there forever reminding me of the miracle my husband and I created. I think that's pretty neat.

Sure I didn't get the natural delivery, but does that really matter so much anymore? I, along with my husband, created a human being - that's amazing in and of itself. Does the method of delivery really matter or make me less of a mother? No. Absolutely not. I just have a really cool scar to remind me of that special day. I actually like it. I love it. It's my mama battle scar :)